Epiphany

I figured out what's going on with me. I have a tendency, when things go wrong, to take control myself and try to make everything go right. So many things have gone wrong, and so many people have proven themselves to be unreliable, that it's become a habit of mine.

For a while I loved my job because of certain managers who were the leaders they were supposed to be. All I had to do was my job, and they did theirs. Life was good. I still controlled my personal life, for the most part, but I didn't have to do that at work. It gave me time to relax and just chill out.

Then things changed at work. Now things are falling apart there, and people don't care so much about their job anymore. I can't work that way. It makes me irritable and anxious. I need a strong leader in order to relax my brain, and I'm not getting it there anymore. So I've started to have to take control of more situations at work. That, combined with STILL controlling my personal life, left me feeling very stressed and overtaxed.

This changed a couple weeks ago. I found a way to release more control in my personal life. It's nice to relax, and have confidence in someone else's ability to handle a situation. I still find myself fretting and worrying about things here and there, but now I recognize that I'm doing that and I can get myself to relax and just enjoy the moment. I am learning a whole new lesson about life. I am determined to enjoy every minute of it.