Dealing with Dawna

Most of you should know I have a 10 year old daughter. Her name is Dawna. She lives with my aunt Christine in Kingston, and I see her for a few hours every Sunday. The last few Sundays though she hasn't been around because Christine has taken her on vacation. I couldn't go on the vacation that we usually go on this time of year because of all the crap that happened.

So, she hasn't been around since Josh and I split up. This is an issue. Josh and I were together for 4 and a half years roundabout. So she's known him to be with me since she was 6. She even referred to him as one of her dad's in a school paper she did.

Needless to say, my anxiety level today was way high. When she got here we drove out to the coffee stand, got her an iced chocolate milk, and me a coffee. She asked immediately where Josh was. I had to tell her that he was at his parent's house and that we split up. She was upset and sad. She cried and then didn't want to talk about it.

The rest of the day was ok, but I am still left with this deep sadness. It's not sadness that Josh and I aren't together anymore... It's sadness that Dawna is sad. I wish I didn't have to make her feel that way. I feel tired and empty, cried out... It doesn't help that I am home alone.

~Foxy

New Development

Ok, so new development in my saga... The woman who got pregnant with Josh's kid had a miscarriage. I am very sad for her. She had spent a month really imagining that this was going to be her baby. That kind of sorrow is very hard for anyone to take. Apparently things are going to remain the same, however. She has grown attached to Josh, and says she doesn't want to leave him. That makes me happy, because I know he has grown attached to her too, and would be very sad to be left alone now. He is sad about the miscarriage too.

I decided to give myself a Tarot card reading about the new situation and how it would affect my life. I used a simple three card layout (past, present, and future). Here is my results:

The Fool: 

As a card, the Fool ultimately stands for a new beginning often involving a literal move to a new home or job. The querent (meaning the sitter, or the one asking the cards for advice) might be starting to date again, or trying out some new activity. There's more than just change here, there is renewal, movement, and the energy of a fresh start.

In the Tarot, cards like The Magician or The Hermit can often stand for the querent or for someone in the querent's life. The Fool, however, usually stands for the querent, himself. They are back at zero, whether that be in romantic affairs, or career, work or intellectual pursuits. Far from being sad or frustrated by having to start over, however, the querent feels remarkably *free*, light hearted and refreshed, as if being given a second chance. They feel young and energized, as excited as a child who has discovered a new toyshop. Who knows what they will find on the shelves?

In addition, they likely have no idea where they're going or what they're going to do. But that doesn't matter. For the Fool, the most important thing is to just go out and enjoy the world. To see what there is to see and delight in all of it.

Unfortunately, this childlike state can make one overly optimistic or naive. A Fool can be a Fool. That business opportunity might not be so surefire or amazing as it seems, and that new lover might not be so flawless.

Like the Fool, you might be so busy sightseeing and imagining the possibilities that you completely miss the fact that you're about to go right off a cliff! The card advises that one listen to that watchful little dog, which might be a concerned friend, a wise tarot reader, someone harassing you from the sidelines, or just your instincts. However exciting new beginnings may be, you still have to watch your step. 

That is a dead on card for the past couple of months for me!!! Next, we have:

The World

The Fool turns to take that final step along his final path, and finds, to his bemusement, that he is right back where he started, at the edge of that very same cliff he almost stepped over when he was young and too foolish to look where he was going. But now he sees his position very differently. He thought he could separate body and mind, learn all about one, then leave it to learn about the other. But in the end, it is all about the self: mind and body, past and future, the individual, and the world. All one, including the Fool and the Mystic who are both doorways to the secrets of the universe.

With a knowing smile, the Fool takes that final step right off the cliff...and soars. Higher and higher, until the whole of the world is his to see. And there he dances, surrounded by a yoni of stars, at one with the universe. Ending, in a sense, where he began, beginning again at the end. The world turns, and the Fool's journey is complete.

Everything finally coming together, successfully and at last. The querent will graduate, marry after a long engagement, finish that huge project, or get their PHD. This is a card about completing things, and getting well earned cheers and pats on the back when you do.

Two of Cups

The Two of Cups shows the beauty and power that is created when two become one. The card reflects balance, mutual respect and harmony in relations with one another. There is no ‘I’, just ‘we’, and both parties are focused on a mutually beneficial outcome or win-win situation.

The Two of Cups typically points towards a relationship that is based on mutual attraction and romantic inclinations. It reflects the clear, nurturing, supportive and heartfelt exchange of emotions that is the gift of a romantic relationship.

The Two of Cups represents love that is nurturing, creative, clearly focused, inspirational and equally fulfilling. In a reading, this is often a beautiful start to a new romance in which you will experience understanding, harmony and deep love between two souls. The seed has blossomed into a tree of appreciation. Kindness and thoughtfulness will bind your two hearts together with the feeling of being simultaneously very special to one another.

In some cases, the Two of Cups can refer to marriage, proposals and engagements, particularly as this card portrays what looks like a wedding or hand-fasting. It is a reflection of commitment between two individuals, to say that they will go through life together, always considerate of each other’s needs and wishes.

Outside of love, the Two of Cups reflects a partnership of sorts, be it a business partnership, friendship or even a relationship between a person and their pet.

Despite the focus on the two beings shown on this card, the Two of Cups also points to what is happening within the individual. To be truly loved, deeply treasured and valued highly by others, you must first and foremost strive to create those feelings for yourself. That is, when you work toward loving yourself, you hold your inner spirit in high regard, treating it with deference and deep respect. When you see yourself in this positive light, other people cannot help but respond to your personal sense of value in an equally positive manner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, that's my Tarot reading... It gives me hope for the future, and the determination to use a good attitude and optimism, in order to achieve that every happy ending. Good times. It will help me not to worry too much... 

Explainations

So, what has been going on with me? I think it's finally time I can explain a little bit.

My boyfriend, Josh, and I have split up. How it happened was we started swinging with another couple. The other woman got pregnant by my boyfriend. Her husband told he wanted a divorce. Now  she lives with Josh, and her husband lives with me.

Things went from enlighteningly wonderful, to stressful, to anxiety inducing, to contentment, and now it's back at stressful again, but mostly because there are still a lot of loose ends flapping around. I will feel much better when it's all settled, and I hope it is more settled by the time my vacation is over and I have to go back to work.

I am very happy overall. I know that it is worth the stress at this point, and that the stress won't last forever. I feel more free than I have in a long time. I stand at the beginning of a whole new chapter of my life, with new characters, situations, and adventures. Life is good.

~Foxy

Heart Spring

 I was walking in a fog
Suddenly you appeared
As if created of mist

You waved your arm
And the fog vanished
Revealing a new world

You smiled at me
And took my hand
Leading the way

As we walked
More fog cleared
Exposing further delights

I was wonder struck
Laughing and giddy
Dancing in the sunlight.

We came to a spring
Bubbling rhythmically
A clear pink red color.

We drank of the water
It filled me with warmth
Feeling hope for the future.

My heart was beating
Along with the spring
The two were the same.

We held each other
Rolling and laughing
On the bright greensward.

I fell asleep in your arms
At peace with existence
In perfect trust.

Mercury Retrograde

Have you noticed in the past week that there has been more conflict in your life than usual? Misunderstandings? Complications? Unexpected curve-balls to your routine? Everything that can go wrong will go wrong? You are experiencing the phenomenon known as Mercury Retrograde. It's like an astrological storm that hits us all a few times a year.    

Logically speaking, Mercury Retrograde is when the planet Mercury appears to start moving backwards from our point of view. It isn't REALLY moving backwards. It's like this:

Why should this affect our daily lives? For that answer you have to go a little beyond logic. Mercury is named after the Roman god of Communication and Trade, also known as Hermes in the Greek Pantheon.

So... When the planet is in retrograde, some believe that it affects those attribute of communication and trade. I have experienced my fair share of things not going right in the past week. Most of it was from misunderstandings, and everything going wrong at work that possibly could.

My advise to my readers is to hang onto your hats, don't let arguments that happen now affect you too much. Check back in a couple weeks and see if it might have all been just a mis-communication. Try to be careful to make sure that you are clear and patient when communicating with others. Also, when the little things go wrong, just go with the flow. Take a breath, accept it, and move on. It's not a good time to be in a hurry to do anything. Take it easy and stay happy. 

Epiphany

I figured out what's going on with me. I have a tendency, when things go wrong, to take control myself and try to make everything go right. So many things have gone wrong, and so many people have proven themselves to be unreliable, that it's become a habit of mine.

For a while I loved my job because of certain managers who were the leaders they were supposed to be. All I had to do was my job, and they did theirs. Life was good. I still controlled my personal life, for the most part, but I didn't have to do that at work. It gave me time to relax and just chill out.

Then things changed at work. Now things are falling apart there, and people don't care so much about their job anymore. I can't work that way. It makes me irritable and anxious. I need a strong leader in order to relax my brain, and I'm not getting it there anymore. So I've started to have to take control of more situations at work. That, combined with STILL controlling my personal life, left me feeling very stressed and overtaxed.

This changed a couple weeks ago. I found a way to release more control in my personal life. It's nice to relax, and have confidence in someone else's ability to handle a situation. I still find myself fretting and worrying about things here and there, but now I recognize that I'm doing that and I can get myself to relax and just enjoy the moment. I am learning a whole new lesson about life. I am determined to enjoy every minute of it.

Tarot Reading

Some of you may know that I read Tarot cards. If you didn't, you do now. I'm sure some of you are skeptical about the accuracy of divination, you can argue about it in the comments if you wish. However, I have found that the cards tend to speak clearly to me.

Today I was feeling conflicted and unsure about the future, so I gave myself a 3 card (past-present-future) reading.

In the past was the 5 of Pentacles. That translates to stress, and hardship. That has been my past, for sure. Depression... unhappiness... What's even more interesting is that my deck is an animal deck, and the 5 of pentacles, pictured above, is represented by the fox.

In the present was the 10 of Cups. That translates to happiness, a feeling of wholeness, and satisfaction. Yes, totally what's going on RIGHT NOW...

The last card, the future, was The Tower. That translates to discord, possible unhappiness, and a change of an old way of life.  I was not surprised.

I have written of endings and beginnings before. Life is full of them. What I do know is that I haven't felt this good and carefree since I lived in my Bronco II in February of 2005. That was the start to a whole chapter of my life. Now I feel that chapter ending and a new one beginning. I just wish I knew how it was all going to turn out. The only thing I know for sure is that I can't go back to the way things were in the past. I am done with that particular 5 of pentacles. I hope the happiness of the present lasts for a long time, and that the discord of the future is distant.

How can I explain?

I have been feeling the need to explain my behavior as of late. I've been acting strangely, it's true. Not how I ordinarily act, for those of you with the fortune to know me in the "real world". I have undergone an enlightening experience recently. I really wish I could just say what it was, but for privacy's sake, others as well as my own, I cannot divulge further. It must suffice to say that my perspective has been changed in a direction that I never expected. That is how these things tend to go though, fate hits you with a bolt of lighting on a day that you thought was just like any other.

I see some things now that I didn't before, and I don't see how I can possibly go back to the way things were. I don't know how things will end up, we never do in life, but I am not afraid to take a gamble. There is no adventure without risk, and my life would be nothing without adventure. I might as well wilt away and die, a cut flower.

So I hope nobody thinks I've lost my mind. You will just have to trust me, and maybe, hopefully, someday I will be able to tell you why I've been acting off. I assure you, it's perfectly natural.

Had Enough

I need a new job. I got the one I have in December 2009. I was desperate for employment, so took the leap back into fast food. After working at DQ from 1998-2001 I had sworn that I would never work fast food again. But times got hard and so there I was.

At first it wasn't so bad. My coworkers and most of the managers were fun to work with and made time go by quickly. The summer of 2010 I was promised a promotion by the Assistant Manager, who was in charge of the training program. I got a 20 cent raise that evaluation period, only missing one point. There were two other people also promised a promotion.

Only one of us got promoted, and they went up 3 levels instead of one. Myself and the other employee were left high and dry. I believe this was due to the Store Manager feeling as if the Assistant Manager was overstepping their power, infringing on the Store Manager's power. They even rejected the training book I had completed, even before opening it. That evaluation period last winter I got a 15 cent, or average, raise. That was a slap in the face. I have always been a good employee for them. I have cared about my performance, the customers, and the company. I was even marked down for attendance, even though I had not called out a single day in that evaluation period. I brought it to the Store Manager's attention, and they changed it, but marked me down for something else, so they could keep me at 15 cents. I should have left then.

This Spring, the Store Manager pulled me aside and told me that they wanted to promote me again. I was skeptical. They said that they were going to "verify" my training book I had already completed, and after that I would get my promotion. My thoughts were "I'll believe it when I see it". I never saw it. Now we just had my third evaluation. I got another 15 cents. This is enough for me. I don't mind working fast food, but I refuse to be screwed over in the process. I just got done updating my resume and then, once I find a new job, I am out of there. I got a lead on a cocktail waitress job, making tips. That will be a nice change of pace.

Final advice for owners of fast food establishments: If your Store Manager is incompetent, it WILL drag your store down, eat your profits, and leave you with only the worst workers willing to stay under such conditions.

Happy Exhaustion

So I haven't written for a couple days, I think. Time is being funny right now and days are flying by for me. I think I may be having too much fun. All of this has left my thoughts a bit unfocused and has taken my free time away from me for the most part. I am embracing some change that has presented itself to me. Change can be scary, it's true. However, in this case, I think I needed it. For a while there has been a feeling of unrest in me, and this is my attempt at a solution. I have a lot to learn about myself, and I have a whole lot of living left to do in my life. I don't want to be held back anymore. I have to deal with my fear of change, and instead embrace it, because it's the only way I can move forward.

Like any change, this could go wrong, but that is a part of life, and amazing things don't happen without some element of risk. I am pursuing fresh adventures and happy for it. Wish me luck!

Hopefully soon I will have the mental organization to put together a meaningful post on some social issue or the like. Until then I will just post updates at least every few days or so.

~Foxy

Feeling Renewed

I hardly know what to write here. For the past few weeks my energy has felt hectic, scattered, stressed, and pent up. I have been moody, and easily upset. It's difficult to explain in my usual eloquent manner. I've had a series of small explosions when dealing with certain situations. That is not the person I want to be, but it happened.

Yesterday and today have been different, however. There is a sense of peace in me now. I don't know why... Just a shift in the energy flow or something. It's almost like all the aggravation and stress was just part of a change, a new beginning. I'm not sure WHAT has changed, but I think it has. Only time will tell. Until then, I am happy, and ready for a fun filled summer. Whatever changes may happen, I am prepared to deal with them. I can't wait to see where the journey takes me next. 

~Foxy

Let The Crazy Out

We act crazy at my workplace. It's our way of dealing with the stress in a positive and mood lifting way. We sing, dance, make noises, and other random acts of insanity. To us it's turning a steam valve to relieve pressure, preventing overload and explosion. Nobody wants that to happen, it can get messy. It's probably my favorite thing about my job, that I can feel comfortable relieving a little bits (or sometimes BIG BITS) of stress. I'm sure some of my coworkers feel the same way.

I encourage that kind of thing. We should all indulge in random acts of crazy (HARMLESS crazy only please) every now and then (or many times a day, depending on your stress level). It's good for our mental health, and will make us more open to new experiences and adventures. We start to let ourselves out of whatever rut we are in and start embracing a new degree of chaos. That is also healthy, because it is impossible to eliminate chaos from our lives and trying to fight it is a losing battle. It is better to gain the flexibility to ride the waves and try to stay positive about every situation.

My advice to you all is to find a group of people who you can feel comfortable being silly, weird, or kookie around and have at it. Let some of that stress and tension go with it. Life can be hard sometimes, but a lot depends on how you deal with it. Personally, I feel happier and more vibrant for it, and I hope I spread some of that to others. On a final note:

~Foxy

Birth Control

Today I logged on to Facebook, hungover, and saw a post a friend of mine made. It was about a little girl who was killed in Florida and her mother was acquitted of the murder. Honestly, I have not looked at all the facts myself, but everybody seems to believe that she did do it. Here are the news links related to the case:

News links: Caylee Anthony

Like I said, I have no idea if Casey, the mother, actually killed her daughter or not. I guess that's up to the Universe to know, and to punish. One of my friends suggested a failure in the court system. That may well be true, I don't know enough about the courts to talk about it, or about the case, for that matter. What I came to understand is that even if she didn't kill her daughter, Casey wasn't a very good mom, wishing to party and have boyfriends. To me this means that she got pregnant too young. She obviously wasn't ready to be a mother.

I believe that this is a failure in our education system, or in our sex education laws. I firmly believe that sex education should be taught in schools (with parental permission of course), and part of that teaching should be the reality of having a child, as well as risks of STD's, and the different types of birth control, how they work and how to get them. Washington State will pay for birth control for those who cannot afford it themselves. It makes sense because they would rather pay to prevent a pregnancy than have to pay for the pregnancy, and for the child on welfare for the next however many years. More people should know about those programs in their state.

Of course the information wouldn't get through to everyone. Some people are opposed to birth control for religious reasons, though that doesn't seem to stop them from having pre-marital sex, and some will ignore the advice and end up in trouble. It would still get through to enough people to make it worthwhile, in my opinion. I think we would see a decrease in abortions, because the unwanted pregnancy's would have been AVOIDED instead of having to be terminated. Hopefully we could also see the incidences of child abuse and neglect drop.

Young people should spend their time being young and enjoying the power and beauty of their youth, not in being mothers, until they are truly ready and willing to accept the challenge and responsibility of parenthood.

Crazy Smart

“The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.”
~Bruce Feirstein


I have had a theory for a long time that intelligent people have higher instances of insanity. Last night I decided to cruise around the internet and see if I could find anybody else talking about it. I found the sight below.


The Frontal Cortex: Intelligence and Insanity


I found the original article interesting, but when I read the comments I was anthralled, and even laughed out loud a few times. Particularly comments 4, 9-11 (by the same person, one Prophetess Theresa), and 16.


I like comment 4 because it is along the lines I was thinking in the first place. It was pointed out in a later comment that comment 4 came from a G K Chesterton quote. G K Chesterton also said:


"The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits."


and


"He may be mad, but there's method in his madness. There nearly always is method in madness. It's what drives men mad, being methodical."


They ring very true to me. The more intelligent you are, the more you want to understand everything around you. That is impossible, however, we cannot know everything. 


The smarter people know more about the world, our government, and human nature, and realize that things are messed up. The pain and ugliness in the world can be terrible for those who think about things like that. Even things they see or hear about in their neighborhoods. The horrible things that ignorance can inflict, they see it all, and they know that it doesn't have to be that way. 


This line of thinking carries over into what the "Prophetess" says in comments 9-11. I agree with the guy in comment 17 who suggested that Theresa was off her meds. What she says is interesting though, and made me laugh a few times. More at the paranoia than anything else. She is difficult to read though, because she doesn't like spaces around her periods. 


Comment 16 I identified with the most. I feel like that a lot. It's true I hardly ever finish projects. So, according to the commentor, I need some henchmen... anybody want to apply? :-)


I hope you enjoy it all as much as I do. It left me feeling a lot better about my mental health, and gave me more to ponder on the subject. 


~Foxy

Make Joy, Not Hate

Hate:
-noun
1. intense dislike; extreme aversion or hostility.

2. the object of extreme aversion or hostility.



Joy:
–noun
1. the emotion of great delight or happiness caused bysomething exceptionally good or satisfying; keen         pleasure;elation: She felt the joy of seeing her son's success.

2. a source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something orsomeone greatly valued or appreciated: Her prose style is a pure joy.

3. the expression or display of glad feeling; festive gaiety.


I would much rather make joy than hate, and I think that the world would be a much better place if more people did so. I make an effort every day to spread laughter and smiles wherever I go. I'm not perfect, by any means, and sometimes I can be negative, when I'm emotional.

I never expected to come across the phrase "make hate". The concept is so ugly it disgusts me to my core. I wish I had never been confronted with it, to tell you the truth. This assault to my senses happened on Facebook. The phrase was on a T-shirt:

The guy wearing it was a friend of a friend. He commented on one of my friend's status updates, and I saw he was wearing it in his profile picture. I really couldn't believe anybody would wear something with such a negative statement on it. Who wants to Make Hate? In my opinion, a jackass... I vented some frustration at the situation in Photoshop and came up with this:

That is the actual picture of the guy, I just made his appearance a little more literal. Why would this person want to represent themselves like this? It seems to me to be shallow and contrived, like the guy was trying to seem like a bad-ass, but it doesn't come across to me that way. I see an insecure, hollow person who is trying to impress the wrong sorts of people. Everybody I showed this picture to was unimpressed with his style. They didn't understand why someone would want to spread the concept of "making hate" around. Even though they are just words printed on a shirt, they carry power, and a certain energy of their own. It worked on me, I now hate this guy. He is certainly isn't someone I would care to be around for any length of time. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Why would you want people to hate you?

I understand that we have freedom of speech, and trust me, I am not asking for this shirt to be banned. I am just trying to say that I am upset that there is a person out there who would BUY the shirt, WEAR the shirt, have a picture TAKEN of them wearing the shirt, AND set the picture as their FACEBOOK PROFILE PICTURE. I am upset that this guy and I have a common friend. I don't think a good person would  present themselves that way. It's probably a good thing that the shirt exists. That way we know, when we see someone wearing it as proudly as this guy is, that that person is probably not worth knowing.

For all my ranting, I know there isn't much I can do about it, except avoid those types of people, and try to be a better person myself. I hope it inspires you to spread more joy around, and less hate, like it has me. I looked on the internet for a shirt that said "Make Joy", with no success. I can order one, I'm sure. In the meantime, I went on Photoshop again and came up with this:

It will be mine, and I will wear it proudly. Anybody else want one?

~Foxy

Alcoholic Frustration

I have noticed a theme lately. Myself and a few of my other friends have become FED UP with Alcoholics, and people with drink-drug problems in general. (I'm not linking Cannibus with the "drug" problem, it's an herb). I do have a drink every now and then, and sometimes I get drunk, it's true. I do not ask to be bought drinks, or ask people for a drink unless they brought some to my house. That's a big sign of a problem if they do. I am faced with someone who seems ok with behaving this way all the time. It hurts me.

Part of my problem with the whole thing started with my first stepfather. He was alcoholic and abused my mother. I remember watching one of those situations when I was only 5. She divorced him when I was 8 and married my second step-father. He was also an alcoholic. I left the house when I was 13 and didn't come back until I was 16 and that only lasted a year. Since then I have had an alcoholic boyfriend (long gone) and 3 alcoholic roommates. I get anxiety around a certain type of drunk now. It makes me feel crazed, uncomfortable and unbearable on edge when they are drunk and I am not. I don't like drinking that often, maybe a few times a month, so when they are drinking every night or even just a few times a week it doesn't work. They come around me and want to talk to me and I just can't stand it.

I am SO DONE with caring about them, I have to be, for my own mental health. Same goes for other drug addicts, and people who need anger management. If they aren't really trying, neither am I. For a long time I have cared too much, a diseased part of my brain I picked up from my childhood. I thought I could "fix it" or "make it work" because they "really did love me". That was bullshit, and they weren't going to change for me, they would only change for themselves, and why should they change when they had me helping them? They won't change until they finally want to, and they usually won't want to until they have to.

I feel that the only thing I can do is warn them, then, when they don't heed my warning, tell them the truth, how they or the situation appears from my outside perspective. There is power in the truth, and sometimes people don't want to hear it. Those are often the times it is most important to tell it to them. At that point I can walk away, having told them what needed to be said. Unfortunately, they are usually so lost in their path that they have left rationality behind. The hope is that the words can bring rationality back, if even for a second, or to plant a seed in their head. If they wake up and take care of business, I can resume friendship if I wish to. I just can no longer concern myself with them and their life. It is theirs to lead how they wish.

I hope the best for those people. I hope they turn their life around and get back onto a more productive, happy, and healthy life. We all deserve that much, but it's up to us as individuals to pick ourselves up by the boot-strings and make it happen. I am responsible for my own happiness, and so are you.

~Foxy

First Post

I haven't posted a blog since I stopped using Myspace, along with everyone else. That sight still stands with my whole blog, and everyone else's, even though nobody looks at it anymore. The abandoned amusement park of the internet. In case anybody is curious to wade through the wreckage and take a look at that bygone blog, here is a link:

http://www.myspace.com/foxyfox82/blog

But that is the past, my friend (presumably), and I am a completely different person now. Well... not completely, but mostly. I have certainly undergone a lot of changes, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Thus is life I suppose. 

As for right now. I am sitting in my living room, alone for once. The house is quiet. My boyfriend of 4 and a half years, Josh, is still asleep. I have too many things on my mind to sleep, a re-occurring problem. I have trouble shutting my mind down sometimes. I wish I had a sleep button. Maybe if I can keep this blog up regularly I can get some things OUT of my mind and finally get some peace. I have to be careful what I post here, however, because I certainly don't want to upset anybody, or get myself in trouble in the process. I just want to get things off my chest, and maybe spark some of my love for writing again.

I think I will end my first Blogger blog post in this way. I will move on to subjects that I can go on in length about in the next one. Thank you for reading.

~Foxy