Tarot Reading

Some of you may know that I read Tarot cards. If you didn't, you do now. I'm sure some of you are skeptical about the accuracy of divination, you can argue about it in the comments if you wish. However, I have found that the cards tend to speak clearly to me.

Today I was feeling conflicted and unsure about the future, so I gave myself a 3 card (past-present-future) reading.

In the past was the 5 of Pentacles. That translates to stress, and hardship. That has been my past, for sure. Depression... unhappiness... What's even more interesting is that my deck is an animal deck, and the 5 of pentacles, pictured above, is represented by the fox.

In the present was the 10 of Cups. That translates to happiness, a feeling of wholeness, and satisfaction. Yes, totally what's going on RIGHT NOW...

The last card, the future, was The Tower. That translates to discord, possible unhappiness, and a change of an old way of life.  I was not surprised.

I have written of endings and beginnings before. Life is full of them. What I do know is that I haven't felt this good and carefree since I lived in my Bronco II in February of 2005. That was the start to a whole chapter of my life. Now I feel that chapter ending and a new one beginning. I just wish I knew how it was all going to turn out. The only thing I know for sure is that I can't go back to the way things were in the past. I am done with that particular 5 of pentacles. I hope the happiness of the present lasts for a long time, and that the discord of the future is distant.

How can I explain?

I have been feeling the need to explain my behavior as of late. I've been acting strangely, it's true. Not how I ordinarily act, for those of you with the fortune to know me in the "real world". I have undergone an enlightening experience recently. I really wish I could just say what it was, but for privacy's sake, others as well as my own, I cannot divulge further. It must suffice to say that my perspective has been changed in a direction that I never expected. That is how these things tend to go though, fate hits you with a bolt of lighting on a day that you thought was just like any other.

I see some things now that I didn't before, and I don't see how I can possibly go back to the way things were. I don't know how things will end up, we never do in life, but I am not afraid to take a gamble. There is no adventure without risk, and my life would be nothing without adventure. I might as well wilt away and die, a cut flower.

So I hope nobody thinks I've lost my mind. You will just have to trust me, and maybe, hopefully, someday I will be able to tell you why I've been acting off. I assure you, it's perfectly natural.

Had Enough

I need a new job. I got the one I have in December 2009. I was desperate for employment, so took the leap back into fast food. After working at DQ from 1998-2001 I had sworn that I would never work fast food again. But times got hard and so there I was.

At first it wasn't so bad. My coworkers and most of the managers were fun to work with and made time go by quickly. The summer of 2010 I was promised a promotion by the Assistant Manager, who was in charge of the training program. I got a 20 cent raise that evaluation period, only missing one point. There were two other people also promised a promotion.

Only one of us got promoted, and they went up 3 levels instead of one. Myself and the other employee were left high and dry. I believe this was due to the Store Manager feeling as if the Assistant Manager was overstepping their power, infringing on the Store Manager's power. They even rejected the training book I had completed, even before opening it. That evaluation period last winter I got a 15 cent, or average, raise. That was a slap in the face. I have always been a good employee for them. I have cared about my performance, the customers, and the company. I was even marked down for attendance, even though I had not called out a single day in that evaluation period. I brought it to the Store Manager's attention, and they changed it, but marked me down for something else, so they could keep me at 15 cents. I should have left then.

This Spring, the Store Manager pulled me aside and told me that they wanted to promote me again. I was skeptical. They said that they were going to "verify" my training book I had already completed, and after that I would get my promotion. My thoughts were "I'll believe it when I see it". I never saw it. Now we just had my third evaluation. I got another 15 cents. This is enough for me. I don't mind working fast food, but I refuse to be screwed over in the process. I just got done updating my resume and then, once I find a new job, I am out of there. I got a lead on a cocktail waitress job, making tips. That will be a nice change of pace.

Final advice for owners of fast food establishments: If your Store Manager is incompetent, it WILL drag your store down, eat your profits, and leave you with only the worst workers willing to stay under such conditions.

Happy Exhaustion

So I haven't written for a couple days, I think. Time is being funny right now and days are flying by for me. I think I may be having too much fun. All of this has left my thoughts a bit unfocused and has taken my free time away from me for the most part. I am embracing some change that has presented itself to me. Change can be scary, it's true. However, in this case, I think I needed it. For a while there has been a feeling of unrest in me, and this is my attempt at a solution. I have a lot to learn about myself, and I have a whole lot of living left to do in my life. I don't want to be held back anymore. I have to deal with my fear of change, and instead embrace it, because it's the only way I can move forward.

Like any change, this could go wrong, but that is a part of life, and amazing things don't happen without some element of risk. I am pursuing fresh adventures and happy for it. Wish me luck!

Hopefully soon I will have the mental organization to put together a meaningful post on some social issue or the like. Until then I will just post updates at least every few days or so.

~Foxy

Feeling Renewed

I hardly know what to write here. For the past few weeks my energy has felt hectic, scattered, stressed, and pent up. I have been moody, and easily upset. It's difficult to explain in my usual eloquent manner. I've had a series of small explosions when dealing with certain situations. That is not the person I want to be, but it happened.

Yesterday and today have been different, however. There is a sense of peace in me now. I don't know why... Just a shift in the energy flow or something. It's almost like all the aggravation and stress was just part of a change, a new beginning. I'm not sure WHAT has changed, but I think it has. Only time will tell. Until then, I am happy, and ready for a fun filled summer. Whatever changes may happen, I am prepared to deal with them. I can't wait to see where the journey takes me next. 

~Foxy

Let The Crazy Out

We act crazy at my workplace. It's our way of dealing with the stress in a positive and mood lifting way. We sing, dance, make noises, and other random acts of insanity. To us it's turning a steam valve to relieve pressure, preventing overload and explosion. Nobody wants that to happen, it can get messy. It's probably my favorite thing about my job, that I can feel comfortable relieving a little bits (or sometimes BIG BITS) of stress. I'm sure some of my coworkers feel the same way.

I encourage that kind of thing. We should all indulge in random acts of crazy (HARMLESS crazy only please) every now and then (or many times a day, depending on your stress level). It's good for our mental health, and will make us more open to new experiences and adventures. We start to let ourselves out of whatever rut we are in and start embracing a new degree of chaos. That is also healthy, because it is impossible to eliminate chaos from our lives and trying to fight it is a losing battle. It is better to gain the flexibility to ride the waves and try to stay positive about every situation.

My advice to you all is to find a group of people who you can feel comfortable being silly, weird, or kookie around and have at it. Let some of that stress and tension go with it. Life can be hard sometimes, but a lot depends on how you deal with it. Personally, I feel happier and more vibrant for it, and I hope I spread some of that to others. On a final note:

~Foxy

Birth Control

Today I logged on to Facebook, hungover, and saw a post a friend of mine made. It was about a little girl who was killed in Florida and her mother was acquitted of the murder. Honestly, I have not looked at all the facts myself, but everybody seems to believe that she did do it. Here are the news links related to the case:

News links: Caylee Anthony

Like I said, I have no idea if Casey, the mother, actually killed her daughter or not. I guess that's up to the Universe to know, and to punish. One of my friends suggested a failure in the court system. That may well be true, I don't know enough about the courts to talk about it, or about the case, for that matter. What I came to understand is that even if she didn't kill her daughter, Casey wasn't a very good mom, wishing to party and have boyfriends. To me this means that she got pregnant too young. She obviously wasn't ready to be a mother.

I believe that this is a failure in our education system, or in our sex education laws. I firmly believe that sex education should be taught in schools (with parental permission of course), and part of that teaching should be the reality of having a child, as well as risks of STD's, and the different types of birth control, how they work and how to get them. Washington State will pay for birth control for those who cannot afford it themselves. It makes sense because they would rather pay to prevent a pregnancy than have to pay for the pregnancy, and for the child on welfare for the next however many years. More people should know about those programs in their state.

Of course the information wouldn't get through to everyone. Some people are opposed to birth control for religious reasons, though that doesn't seem to stop them from having pre-marital sex, and some will ignore the advice and end up in trouble. It would still get through to enough people to make it worthwhile, in my opinion. I think we would see a decrease in abortions, because the unwanted pregnancy's would have been AVOIDED instead of having to be terminated. Hopefully we could also see the incidences of child abuse and neglect drop.

Young people should spend their time being young and enjoying the power and beauty of their youth, not in being mothers, until they are truly ready and willing to accept the challenge and responsibility of parenthood.

Crazy Smart

“The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.”
~Bruce Feirstein


I have had a theory for a long time that intelligent people have higher instances of insanity. Last night I decided to cruise around the internet and see if I could find anybody else talking about it. I found the sight below.


The Frontal Cortex: Intelligence and Insanity


I found the original article interesting, but when I read the comments I was anthralled, and even laughed out loud a few times. Particularly comments 4, 9-11 (by the same person, one Prophetess Theresa), and 16.


I like comment 4 because it is along the lines I was thinking in the first place. It was pointed out in a later comment that comment 4 came from a G K Chesterton quote. G K Chesterton also said:


"The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits."


and


"He may be mad, but there's method in his madness. There nearly always is method in madness. It's what drives men mad, being methodical."


They ring very true to me. The more intelligent you are, the more you want to understand everything around you. That is impossible, however, we cannot know everything. 


The smarter people know more about the world, our government, and human nature, and realize that things are messed up. The pain and ugliness in the world can be terrible for those who think about things like that. Even things they see or hear about in their neighborhoods. The horrible things that ignorance can inflict, they see it all, and they know that it doesn't have to be that way. 


This line of thinking carries over into what the "Prophetess" says in comments 9-11. I agree with the guy in comment 17 who suggested that Theresa was off her meds. What she says is interesting though, and made me laugh a few times. More at the paranoia than anything else. She is difficult to read though, because she doesn't like spaces around her periods. 


Comment 16 I identified with the most. I feel like that a lot. It's true I hardly ever finish projects. So, according to the commentor, I need some henchmen... anybody want to apply? :-)


I hope you enjoy it all as much as I do. It left me feeling a lot better about my mental health, and gave me more to ponder on the subject. 


~Foxy

Make Joy, Not Hate

Hate:
-noun
1. intense dislike; extreme aversion or hostility.

2. the object of extreme aversion or hostility.



Joy:
–noun
1. the emotion of great delight or happiness caused bysomething exceptionally good or satisfying; keen         pleasure;elation: She felt the joy of seeing her son's success.

2. a source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something orsomeone greatly valued or appreciated: Her prose style is a pure joy.

3. the expression or display of glad feeling; festive gaiety.


I would much rather make joy than hate, and I think that the world would be a much better place if more people did so. I make an effort every day to spread laughter and smiles wherever I go. I'm not perfect, by any means, and sometimes I can be negative, when I'm emotional.

I never expected to come across the phrase "make hate". The concept is so ugly it disgusts me to my core. I wish I had never been confronted with it, to tell you the truth. This assault to my senses happened on Facebook. The phrase was on a T-shirt:

The guy wearing it was a friend of a friend. He commented on one of my friend's status updates, and I saw he was wearing it in his profile picture. I really couldn't believe anybody would wear something with such a negative statement on it. Who wants to Make Hate? In my opinion, a jackass... I vented some frustration at the situation in Photoshop and came up with this:

That is the actual picture of the guy, I just made his appearance a little more literal. Why would this person want to represent themselves like this? It seems to me to be shallow and contrived, like the guy was trying to seem like a bad-ass, but it doesn't come across to me that way. I see an insecure, hollow person who is trying to impress the wrong sorts of people. Everybody I showed this picture to was unimpressed with his style. They didn't understand why someone would want to spread the concept of "making hate" around. Even though they are just words printed on a shirt, they carry power, and a certain energy of their own. It worked on me, I now hate this guy. He is certainly isn't someone I would care to be around for any length of time. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Why would you want people to hate you?

I understand that we have freedom of speech, and trust me, I am not asking for this shirt to be banned. I am just trying to say that I am upset that there is a person out there who would BUY the shirt, WEAR the shirt, have a picture TAKEN of them wearing the shirt, AND set the picture as their FACEBOOK PROFILE PICTURE. I am upset that this guy and I have a common friend. I don't think a good person would  present themselves that way. It's probably a good thing that the shirt exists. That way we know, when we see someone wearing it as proudly as this guy is, that that person is probably not worth knowing.

For all my ranting, I know there isn't much I can do about it, except avoid those types of people, and try to be a better person myself. I hope it inspires you to spread more joy around, and less hate, like it has me. I looked on the internet for a shirt that said "Make Joy", with no success. I can order one, I'm sure. In the meantime, I went on Photoshop again and came up with this:

It will be mine, and I will wear it proudly. Anybody else want one?

~Foxy