Most of you should know I have a 10 year old daughter. Her name is Dawna. She lives with my aunt Christine in Kingston, and I see her for a few hours every Sunday. The last few Sundays though she hasn't been around because Christine has taken her on vacation. I couldn't go on the vacation that we usually go on this time of year because of all the crap that happened.
So, she hasn't been around since Josh and I split up. This is an issue. Josh and I were together for 4 and a half years roundabout. So she's known him to be with me since she was 6. She even referred to him as one of her dad's in a school paper she did.
Needless to say, my anxiety level today was way high. When she got here we drove out to the coffee stand, got her an iced chocolate milk, and me a coffee. She asked immediately where Josh was. I had to tell her that he was at his parent's house and that we split up. She was upset and sad. She cried and then didn't want to talk about it.
The rest of the day was ok, but I am still left with this deep sadness. It's not sadness that Josh and I aren't together anymore... It's sadness that Dawna is sad. I wish I didn't have to make her feel that way. I feel tired and empty, cried out... It doesn't help that I am home alone.
~Foxy
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